L'esperienza ESC di Ivan in Slovenia Blog

Returning to Yourself

We, sometimes, drop certain things along our journey through life. For one or another reason. But how and when is it possible and proper to return to those things?

Let me tell you a personal story on “returning” to Myself:
I used to be a Martial Arts’ competing athlete. Which used to not be just a hobby or a sport for me, It got me through the toughest moments of my teenage years.
But because of life and personal reasons, I had to stop for almost 7 years.

During on-arrival training I met someone who showed me how much Martial Arts meant for me. The issue is that it made me indirectly aware how out of shape I was, it triggered me, and, also due to my expectations towards myself, it created fear to “try again”. It is practically a “new”  experience all over again.

However, the curiosity and desire to re-discover those amazing sensations i remember in the past (plus a little bit of external convincing) pushed me to go to the local Pon-Do-Kwan classes. I had a wonderful lesson but I almost passed out from pushing myself.
Even after being met with the harsh reality of being out of shape, as I had expected, I was filled to the brim with pride, motivation and a familiar spark I thought I had lost forever.

I’m very grateful to myself for not giving up and trying. Also to all those around me, who helped me do something so useful to me, after so many years.

So I can offer my personal notes:
– Explore and manage your expectations.
– Have a decently clear idea of why you want to return to it.
– Listen to your body’s needs and desires, but don’t allow fear and uncertainty to control you.
– Talk to someone about it or have internal dialogue (write in your diary), it helps you process and plan the concrete steps more easily.
– Lastly: Just. Do It. Don’t allow your mind to rationalize and talk you out of it. Once you picked the day and time, trust Yourself! It will be good :)

Perseverance

We all have things we care about and want to pursue, yet we sometimes struggle with being consistent. For a reason or another. But how do we find the energy and motivation to persevere?

I want to share a personal take on “perserverance”: I am a very passionate and curious person, who tends to find a lot of interest in the widest variety of topics.

From cinematography to esoterica, from astrology to literature. I do have a hard time sticking with something once novelty starts to fade.
But how can I fully explore and enjoy something if I don’t give it my time?

I focus on understanding what I am faced with; I make it my mission to tackle it from different points of view and possibly in different “dimensions”: Read about it, speak with someone who may know or share this interest, watch videos/documentaries and finally put it into practice and try it in the real world, in one way or another.

This solidifies it in my mind, which starts to not only build familiarity for me, but I create a routine of some sort. This is the way I persevere.

I don’t want to abandon things I consider useful or important.

Sometimes however there is a beautiful process of casually exploring something that slowly grows on me, with sporadic recurring meetings with it.

The most important thing for me is staying true to my path and to what matters to me, even if sometimes it means confusion or lack of confirmation. Sometimes you just have to persevere and trust in the process.

-Ivan